Inglorious Fortress
by Awesomeasian7
Summary: Our fearless heroes must complete their mission and hope that their new allies don't kill everything.


**The Inglorious Fortress**

 **Chapter 1: The Plan**

 **Please note that the rights and ownership of any and all characters belong to their respective creators. i.e. the TeamFortress 2 characters belong to Valve Corporation and any of their subsidiaries therein. I take no credit for the characters and many scenes may be taken directly from the film "Inglorious Bastards". I did not and do not wish to claim ownership of either works and believe all credit should return to the creators.**

 **Also I wanted to write this because I thought the insanity that is TF2 should go well with the carnage and ridiculousness of Inglorious Bastards. Enjoy, Rate, Review, suggest your idea to me on anything you think I have missed, been incorrect about or think would be interesting to the story. All idea are welcomed.**

The young Lieutenant sat nervously in the long hallway. He knew this had to be important to the war as the chief himself had requested him. As the door next to him opened, Lieutenant Alfie Hicox turned his head to see a balding wispy haired butler and immediately stood to attention.

"Please come with me." Croaked the old man.

Hicox knew this must have been important. It was rare that soldier were ever contacted by their families, never mind to be called from the front lines to see a general. As the butler guided Hicox through a set of heavy dark oak doors, inside the room opened to a large chamber like area befitting of extremely high ranking officers and politicians. The walls were covered in dark brown paint and left mostly bare. A huge map of the world hung on the wall. Despite the size the floor was left quite open, a long oak table stretched in front of the large map, in the corner sat an aging portly gentleman before a black grand piano; smoking a cigar intently with a glass of bubbly set next to him. In a different corner another man dressed in green military uniform with dark blonde hair and a brilliant moustache stood with a file facing them.

"Sirs, Lieutenant Hicoxs to see you." Croaked up the butler.

The man in green turn to greet him. "Ah here he is. Thank you George that will be all for now." Said the man with a cockney accent. Noticing the bars on his shoulders, Hicox realised this man was a general and immediately stood to attention.

"General Ed Fenech. At ease Hicox." Stated Fenech, returning the salute. "Drink?"

"If you offer me a Scotch and plain water, I'll have a Scotch and plain water." Stammered the young man in nervous reply.

"Attaboy Lt. make it yourself like a good chap will you? The bar's in the globe."

Turning to his right he saw a dark brown globe. Walking towards it, he couldn't help to be rude. "Something for yourself sir?"

"Whiskey. Straight. No junk in it." Replied the General. "It says here you speak German fluently."

"Like a Katzenjammer Kid." He replied, peering momentarily over his shoulder to see Fenech reading from one of his files.

"And your occupation before the war?" questioned Fenech.

"I was a film critic." Answered Hicoxs. The general questioned him about his previous achievements and history before toasting to the fall of Hitler. They then discussed the German film industry, obviously trying to test how well Hicox knew the industry itself. When the Gentleman at the Piano was satisfied, he instructed the General to start the briefing.

"Lieutenant Hicox, at this point and time I'd like to brief you on Operation Kino." Started the General. "Three days from now Joseph Goebbels is throwing a gala premiere of one of his new movies in Paris."

"What film sir?" queried Hicox.

"The motion picture is called Nation's Pride. In attendance at this joyous Germanic occasion will be Goebbels, Goring, Bormann, and most of the German High Command, including all high ranking officers of both the SS and the Gestapo. As well as luminaries of the Nazi propaganda film industry."

"The Master race at play, eh?"

"Basically, we have all our rotten eggs in one basket." The general summarised. "The objective of Operation Kino, blow up the basket."

"And like the snows of yesteryear, gone from the earth. Jolly good sir." Said Hicox, smiling as he imagined the shock that would fall on the Nazi world if this was accomplished and the leader of the Third Reich as well as all the heads of the Hydra that is the Nazi party, was found dead and in millions of tiny pieces.

"An American Secret Service outfit that lives deep behind enemy lines will be your assist. The Germans call them The Bastards." Continued the General, ignoring the look Hicox had.

"The Bastards?" asked Hicox, trying to remember if he knew of it. "Never heard of them."

"Whole point of the Secret Service, old boy, you not hearing of them. But the Jerries have heard of them, because these Yanks have been them the devil." Fenech now looked more serious and more worried than before. "The plan is this: you'll be dropped into France, about 24 kilometres outside of Paris. The Bastards will be waiting for you." Fenech indicated on the large map exactly where in France he was being dropped.

"Originally, we were planning to have you meet one of our spies and orchestrate this. However, we have now had to make some changes."

"Changes?" questioned Hicox. "What changes would that be sir?"

"Well our new intelligence has informed us that The Bastards stand at only 10 individuals and that even with you we have to agree, that may not be sufficient." Admitted the General glumly. "However, the intelligence agent has stated that the person she works for has offered us their help. A team of nine…unique gentlemen."

"Well who are these men? And if I may ask, what makes them so unique sir?"

"Let's see." Stated the general, flicking through his files. "They don't have names for one thing. And no families. At least that we know of. They have no political agendas and are solely in this for the reward."

"Rewards sir?" Asked Hicox.

"A cash bonus from their employer and the pleasure of taking down Hitler." The General stopped flicking and began to read what he needed to. "All nine seem to specialise in very specific skills. One specialises in heavy weaponry. A giant of a man code named The Heavy.

Another specialises in demolition and his arsenal is tailor made for it. A man of negro and Scottish descent; code named the One Eyed Cyclops or simply, 'Demoman'.

There is then a gentleman who specialises in quick enemy infiltration and scouting out the enemy without them being able to get him. By far the youngest of them all, code named the Scout.

Here there is an actual soldier. It says here he specialises in military tactics and extreme survival. His codename is The Soldier. I'm sure he will be a wealth of knowledge on how we can form new attacks on the beaches.

Next we have their resident burner. We don't know much about this…person. The only thing we know is that they specialise in burning things. That's about as much as we know. They call them The Pyro.

According to the files the last four are more supportive of the rest. We have two men of learning. One of which is a man of mathematics and ingenuity. Supposedly, if you give him enough scrap metal from just about anything, he'll quickly create the most sophisticated 'self-automated weapon' known to man. They call him The Engineer. Do note that for King and country, you are required to ensure we get access to him and his creations. It might help us later."

At this Hicox nodded and took another sip of his drink. He wasn't certain how this clever man could be of help later but he knew he wasn't meant to know.

"The other man of learning is a man of medicine." Continued Fenech. "According to the reports, he is capable of performing open heart surgery on a man, while he is awake, and have him laughing, without the use of any specialised equipment save one. Supposedly, he has created a machine that can bring about extremely quick healing no matter how bad the trauma. I seriously doubt he'll be necessary but just in case."

"Do you expect we'll be in a large fire fight general?" asked Hicox

"Well personally I highly doubt you would be if all goes to plan, but the woman is adamant that they remain together. They call him: The Medic." Answered the general. "The last two are quite intriguing. On is a sniper from the Australian Outback. And the other is a French Spy. They call them The Sniper and The Spy respectively."

"With all due respect, why have all these nine join us?" Hicox asked. "If what you say about all of them are true, I don't see why we need them all. I can understand the Engineer, the Demolition Man and perhaps the 'Heavy'. But if this is going to be a trap for all of the rotten eggs, and the plan is to blow up the basket, wont that make the other six rather useless?"

"It is a point but frankly that is not my decision. The person who orchestrated this plan had to change the original one to compensate for these extra players."

"Can we trust this person? And this intelligence?" asked Hicox suspiciously.

"If you don't then we will lose the one chance we have of ending this." Came a young female voice from behind Hicox.

As the doors closed from behind the woman, Hicox stared mesmerised at her. She wore a pink and white shirt, a black skirt, small ankle boots and glasses.

"First thing, you'll go to a little village called Nadine and meet The Bastards, then meet my employers' men." The lady say. She had a very sweet voice. "They shouldn't be too hard to find. Remember they are all wearing red."


End file.
